In other news...disco inferno!

Yes, I know. It's been almost 4 months since my last post. And I've done nothing in the way of the 23 things. My things have ... stalled. In my defense, I've been pretty busy. But it's also possible I may have been devoting much of my computer time to Lexulous and WoW. (Have I mentioned how much I LOVE my new laptop? It's got scads of RAM and the most amazing graphics card...) Don't judge me.

However, I am now compelled to blog as something truly bizarre happened to me today.

I set my car on fire.

No, not intentionally. And no, cigarettes, fireworks, O'Leary's cow, and spontaneous human combustion were not involved. Neither was the engine nor the wiring.

The time: 6 p.m., having just left the library.
The place: the intersection of Main & Pines.
The temperature (why yes, I do believe it's relevant): a not so balmy 96 degrees.

There I was, stuck in limbo waiting for a left turn, windows open (I don't air condition 'til it gets over 100), sun beating down, and in the sunbeam I catch what appears to be a lot of dust swirling 'round my passenger seat. (They are harvesting now you know, just check out all the combines etc. trekking back and forth on Highway 27 slowing my Fairfield commute to a crawl.)

I start to roll up the window when I realize the "dust" isn't coming in...it's going OUT.

It is not, in fact, dust. It is smoke. And it's rapidly growing in volume.

The vinyl cup/CD/stuff holder between the two front seats is ON FIRE.

Of course, that's when I finally get a break in traffic.

I zip on over to the pawn shop parking lot driving one handed while beating at the flaming spot with MY OTHER HAND. I wasn't thinking very clearly at that point. The fire, not very big to begin with, is now out, but I dump my water bottle over it anyway 'cause hey, what's a little water damage after all? It's not like I haven't spilled carmel macchiatos over there on numerous occasions.

Then I get out of the car and examine the damage. (My hand, by the way, is fine. It's ashy. So is the seat divider.) Surrounded by cracked and blackened vinyl is a hole the size of a dime. I can see stuffing.

How, you might ask, did this happen? Although the (almost) full moon may be involved, it all comes back to this winter. Remember this winter? The winter of 5 feet of snow in under 24 hours? The winter when two months later, we were still down to two lanes of traffic in a five lane road? The winter of the Ruts of Doom? Yeah, THAT winter. I shook the passenger side mirror right out of the mirror holder going over snow ruts. It was washboard city. I may even have shaken some of my fillings loose. I didn't even know I'd lost it 'til I arrived at the library and went "Hey, where's my mirror?"

I drive a 2005 Ford Escape. With electric mirrors. Ford refuses to replace just the glass--you must replace the entire unit to the tune of almost $400. The unit works just fine, rotating back and forth, angling this way and that. It's just mirrorless. And while I can buy the unit for about $100...I lack the necessary mechanical skills to get into the door frame, remove, replace, and rewire the lot. Even with the help of the Auto Repair Reference Center.

Being cheap, I temporarily replaced the mirror with adhesive mylar I'd purchased from Schucks, intending at some point to either replace the unit or have a glass shop cut me a mirror to fit. (Schucks and Napa, by the way, sell a variety of these self-stick things. Apparently I am not alone in my unwillingness to part with that kind of cash.) Life and cash flow being what they are, I never got around to replacing the mirror.

Apparently all that's been saving me from fiery death these past few months has been unseasonably wet weather. For the most part, I've had my tinted windows rolled up. Today, the windows were down, the angle of the reflected sun was just right, the car was already quite warm having been sitting in the hot sun all day, traffic on Pines was insane and preventing me from making my turn, and, voila--FIRE!

Freak accident.

For the record, I removed the mylar immediately. Co-workers take note: no need to fear I'll be turning the car wash into one great big fireball! And I'll be getting myself to a glass shop immediately following the holiday. Not to mention picking up a vinyl repair kit from my good friends over at Napa.

Sigh.